I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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