You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
