It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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