can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
