I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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