Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
