My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
