He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
