nut hugger
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
