Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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