they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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