She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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