You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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