thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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