There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
