I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
