I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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