make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
