that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize
