i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
