she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
