farters have to be the big spoon...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
