:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
