The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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