you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
