Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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