She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
