guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
