I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
