We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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