I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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