Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
