your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
