it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
