he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
