Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
