everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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