I want to make a zoo with you.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
