Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
