all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
