Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
