we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
