Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
one two three fourrrrnication!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Who put my cat in the fridge?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
