his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
