god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
