i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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