all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
