the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
