it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
