Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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