In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
