cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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