i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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