love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
