he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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